Dream Lilly

Dream Lilly
~Lilies Noir~

25 March, 2011

School Days Are Here Again!

   Oh my gosh, This week has been so crazy, I feel like the girl from the exorcist when her head just spins around and around....haha!


   Well, I've been working towards this for a little over two years...and today, I applied for entry into Stan State for this Fall!  It's quite late, but there's been a really involved process with all this, and I have really had to leave it at His feet, instead of me running with it...I've been really stressed and trying to get everything ready and done on time, and yesterday, I talked with the Head (the Dean) of the Ag division here, and he's fantastic; and so we worked out a plan for me, and he is going to try to help me get in early; so that I do not have to wait a minimum of another YEAR to get in to finish up my Bachelor's...I'm so excited!!!


   I had to apply today, and I must be signing up for some classes very soon!  I am still looking for work, at wineries, and a vast array of ther places, including the USDA, so keep your fingers crossed!...


**More to come**  

20 March, 2011

Silly Storms...and The Solid Rock

Ok, so I just feel the desire to post again!!  (Who knows when I'll be able to again, right? haha)

I was just thumbing through my bible, and I will admit...yes, it's been a while. Longer than it should.

And I came across this old bulletin, in which there are songs that we sang, and it is from October 23, 2005.
It's called The Solid Rock, and it's an old hymn, but those are some of my absolute favorites.

The Solid Rock
" My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name.
On Christ the solid Rock I stand; all other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness veils His lovely face, I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale, my anchor holds within the veil.
On Christ the solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

When He shall come with trumpets sound, O may I then, in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone, faultless to stand before the throne.
On Christ the solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand."

As I'm typing this, I'm singing along, for I know the tune so well, as I grew as a baby up through adulthood listening to my momma play this song in church, on the piano, in a glorious song.
But the words of this song are what grab at me today...pulling me closer to Him as I sometimes want to draw further away, my humanity wanting to take hold.

But I CHOOSE not to forget...that I am a new creation IN Him.
In my NIV Worship Bible there are little prayers written for specific verses on the sides of the page, and this one I love. It's in regards to 2 Corinthians 6:16

" O Lord, How quickly the unholy cravings return when I take my eyes off of You.  A glance here, a step there, and soon, I am waltzing with the world once again.  'Who will rescue me from this body?' 
Draw me to Yourself, Lord, when I do not want to be drawn.  Hold me close Lord, when I resist Your embrace.  Remind me that You are here in power, and reawaken my desire for holiness.  Possess me, Lord, and make of me a temple of worship."


And now, as I think on other things, people (Christians included) who live with different types of hurts and pain;
Who "my God" really is...the one that I serve...how is He portrayed?
This other little prayer made me think on how I want others to see Him through me...
It is in regards to 2 Corinthians 5:18-21

"Lord Jesus Christ, Mender of the broken, Healer of the wounded, Restorer of the withered, here, among the tissues, limbs and organs of Your body is the need for Your powerful touch.  For You are Love's ligature; binding flesh to wounded flesh, mending muscle split by sin's swift blade.  
O, Perfect, Pure and Righteous One-Your sacrifice for us has won this prize.  May we wear healing's holy scars as medals of honor for the world to see~emblems of Your victory."


Those two things just really grabbed me, and moved me this afternoon, so I wanted to share.  I'm still breaking out of my shell a bit :)






Sundays...A Day Of Rest

"No Rest for The Weary!..."  

I have often heard that phrase; and to be very honest, I have been weary for months on end lately it seems...exhausted from illness (both mine, and other family and friends), school, un-relenting homework, raising my 3 year old son as a single mom (an interesting challenge, not for the faint of heart, as is regular parenting as well :) ),  trying to find an internship, or a regular job, wanting a little bit of love along the way at some point, and so it seems...that life can really just plain, WEAR YOU OUT....if you let it :)

So, I pose a question, to any of you...what does it mean to you, to really be weary?  In what ways does the wear and tear of life take its toll on you, and how do you handle it?

And almost instantly, the Psalms come into my heart.  This one just really mimics the cry of my own heart more times than not, and I must be in tune to what I'm crying out for, or I am just aimless, and that's not where I want to be, I want to be on the right path!

Psalm 63 in fact. 1-3-5,7-8

" O God, You are my God,
Earnestly, I seek you; 
My soul thirsts for you, 
My body longs for you, 
In a dry and weary land
Where there is no water...
I have seen you in the sanctuary
And beheld your power and your glory.
Because Your love is better than life, 
My lips will glorify You.
I will praise you as long as I live, 
And in YOUR name I will lift up my hands...
With singing lips my mouth will praise you...
Because You are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
My soul clings to you; 
Your right hand upholds me."

I put this in verse form, because I think it helps cement the feeling of the moment, of David, being in the desert, and his lament between him and The Lord...How sweet that sound is to His ears, even from me, I must remember, when I am weary, and discouraged.

So last night, a friend and I went down to Atwater, a little south of where I live, and went out to dinner with my cousin and her husband.  Can I just say....we had an absolute blast?
I had more fun last night with my gang than I have had in a very long time, so light hearted...we laughed at dinner, we laughed at Target, after dinner, and when we got home to their house and played monopoly for over 4 hours straight, we laughed then too...well, they played monopoly, my cuz helped me dye my hair :)

We watched movies, ate our left-over Mexican food, and then the winds got so heavy outside, we couldn't really drive home, so we just crashed, and stayed up til 2 in the morning, laughing, drinking coffee,  and really just having a ball!  What a relief it was to my soul, to be so light-hearted!

So I woke up this morning, went and got things put together, and decided to head home before noon, and I woke up early, but still refreshed, and relaxed.

I thought about the passage in Matthew, 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle, and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  for my yoke is easy, and my burden light."

I think for a while, I ignored the knocks at my soul, the instances where I should have realized before that I was getting weary, doing to much, trying to be to much for everyone...and  so I kept going.
And yet~Today, on a Sunday, the day that is generally reserved to be a day of rest, it occurred to me, that I have been refreshed, for the first time in a long time!  And guess what???  

*I LIKE it!!!*

~~How sweet it is to be able to reminisce on a day of rest, and truly feel rested?  It's amazing!

18 March, 2011

So little to do, and so much time...?

Oh, my goodness, my goodness, how long has it been?

Ok...so I know it's been way to long since I posted...my reason? you know how sometimes, life seems to just carry you along, with it's own idea as to what you'll be doing, or where you'll be going?
Well, it seems that this spring Life has decided to "tag me along", and so I follow!

There has been so much going on in my life, that I am COUNTING down the days until the end of April, which gives me a little break from school.

I get so busy and caught up in things, that the old saying, "So much to do and so little time" almost gets turned around if I say it out loud...hahaha, I also saw that on the old movie Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, Gene Wilder says that comment several times, and it's one of my favorite movies!

My family has been going through some tough things this year already, not to mention all the "normal" stuff we do...my dad's recently been in the hospital, due to some heart irregularities he was having, and he's already a heart patient, so he was in there for 6 days...that's a pretty long stay in the medical world of today.

So I've been helping out where I can there, trying to find out if I could graduate earlier than planned, and transfer so that I can finish my degree; Although it looks like I would just be allowed to walk the stage and sit in my seat, because I still have 2 stupid math classes *gggrrrrr* to finish before I can "officially" graduate, so I've also been applying to different agricultural companies on various levels for an internship, and that is taking up a great amount of my time...whew!

My homework is never-ceasing, oh, and my loving, wonderful 3-year old....my Lovin' Spoonful! He always keeps me busy...He's running everywhere, full of all this un-tapped energy, and I'm thinking, Where is all this magical energy...and where can I get ME some??? :)

Tonight I have a baby shower to attend with my mom, (I am soo excited) and so we are making "frilly-pretty" cupcakes (she's having a girl) and decorating them all so adorable, which is awesome for me, cuz I don't have a lil princess to spoil! So, I hope I should be getting more time to write this weekend....